mjgayle52
|  6/22/2009 5:53:26 PM | MsgID: 11576276
Mr_Toad well said 
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Mr_Toad
| 6/22/2009 5:16:44 PM | edited:6/22/2009 5:20:46 PM | MsgID: 11576120
Yes, no doubt about it - as ever, chess is a reflection of real life in every way :)
I think we are all sensitive to imagined, or unimagined, slights - and it's hard work to keep our emotional balance. There are no easy answers, I think we all have to find the way that works for us - as individuals (as Reyn has done).
Me? I just look over the moves of the game once it's finished and maybe send some of them in a message, probably just saying I found the lines interesting. All very neutral stuff and I hope that all I'm doing is revealing my own chess thoughts to the other guy. It's up to them if they want to discuss the lines I've sent - and if they are unedifying they can safely be ignored.
Well that's how it's intended to work, but as you say, someone, somewhere, will probably get cross. It makes you think about the virtues of not saying anything to anybody - ever! But we keep coming back to talk with other people, putting ourselves on the line. We're a gregarious species, I guess that's all there is to it.
Someone will be annoyed with me for this comment, I suppose! 
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Reyn
| 6/3/2009 9:06:22 PM | MsgID: 11478215
Phil, I appreciate as to what you're saying, but this wasn't something that was only related to that sort of post-game analysis type comments.
I really don't want to rehash the events that lead up to my decision to block all goodies, but be assured it was more of the sniddy "haha, I won, you didn't" type of thing. I also realize that someone can send that sort of thing via personal message, but don't seem to be bothered.
Perhaps one day, I'll turn them back on, but for now I'm happy just to send my congratualtions via PMs.
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phil west
| 6/3/2009 8:24:03 PM | MsgID: 11478034
[quote="Reyn"][quote="Lucy6M"][...]Personally, I would like to see handshakes separated from all other goodies, and not be blockable, as this is a common courtesy.[/quote]
I have just recently put a block on all goodies for my page. I've done this because I've grown tired of some players sending snotty, condescending remarks with their handshakes when I've lost a game, or feel compelled in giving unwanted advice. If I want their advice, I'll ask for it.
This is an area that may easily be misunderstood!
I played a game recently against an opponent 200 points below my level.
The game was close, but a small tactical error resulted in my winning the endgame comfortably. I sent a goodie (prob a beer) with a note pointing out that this one move resulted in the loss of the game; no offence intended. I got a brusque reply that suggested I had annoyed the opponent.
I am always delighted if someone points out tactical errors (as opposed to stupid ones!) as it's all part of the learning curve. I make no claim to being a good player - but I have learned the odd thing or two so far........
It seems that whatever you do, someone will be annoyed!
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Memoryman
| 5/29/2009 11:01:06 PM | MsgID: 11453324
I've noticed a quite a few players I've played couldn't be bothered to send a handshake after they won or not.
I've found this to be very disrespectful, but I let it go over my head now. If they want to be ignorant then thats they problem not mine.
Apart from that they is alot of members out there who are very polite and chatty. These members out weigh the ignorant ones.
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Reyn
| 5/20/2009 3:48:08 PM | edited:5/20/2009 7:38:01 PM | MsgID: 11405643
Originally posted by: "Lucy6M"
[...]Personally, I would like to see handshakes separated from all other goodies, and not be blockable, as this is a common courtesy. |
I have just recently put a block on all goodies for my page. I've done this because I've grown tired of some players sending snotty, condescending remarks with their handshakes when I've lost a game, or feel compelled in giving unwanted advice. If I want their advice, I'll ask for it.
I used to say something pleasant in the chat box on the game page with each game. I've stopped doing that, too (unless someone says something to me first), because I'm tired of my politeness being ignored.
While I'm all for courtesy with chess games, it seems uncomfortable for someone not to say anything during the entire game, and then when it finishes, they're going to send you a "handshake" (with possibly unwanted remarks)?
So, the bottom line is that I believe each player should be able to continue to make a choice whether of not they want to receive this kind of thing or not. After all, someone can still use the private messaging system to send an opponent a message.
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chessnut
| 4/9/2009 8:19:27 PM | MsgID: 11188972
You missed the Eastern Maine part. Besides I was born in Eastern Maine about 5 miles from Canada. It's the white mans border not the Micmac's.Hay how about that 5 miles further East and I would be a Canadian.
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COURIER
| 4/9/2009 8:00:04 PM | MsgID: 11188862
Just as an aside, how can you be part native American if your tribe is from Canada?
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Annie_K
| 4/9/2009 9:00:14 AM | edited:4/9/2009 9:03:00 AM | MsgID: 11185603
[Quote from: "Earl of Norfolk"][Quote from: "Annie_K"]Um, topic? There was a topic?  Oh, yeah, I drew up an idea for how a goodies bulk configuration page could look like. |
You have FAR too much time your hands.  |
That didn't take me long at all... 
You're welcome, chessnut.
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